My neighborhood is weird

My neighborhood is weird. The houses are lovely, but some of these people are downright bizarre.

First, there’s Paranoid Lady to the right. Let’s call her Paranoid Pamela*. Bless her heart. She’s sweet, but she worries too much. Pamela thinks the lady whose house is left of mine (Bertha*) and the lady who lives on the right of Pamela (Ethel*) spend all their time watching her. Pamela is so paranoid that she installed fences all the way to the front property line on both sides of her house. And then she added a line of bushes across the front of her property. Pamela also claims that Ethel keeps tearing up her flowers and stealing her stuff. She even put up a sign.

Bertha is another odd duck. She got herself all in a huff when I let my shrubs die. They were ugly and needed to come out, so I didn’t water them. They died. Pamela tells me that Bertha complained to her about it.

Also, Bertha gets completely bent out of shape whenever I do anything to my house. I had trees trimmed, trees removed and new grass put in. Bertha had to have some tree trimming done.

My house is being painted even as I type. Bertha had the fancy shutter man come and install plantation shutters. Bertha knows that I’m going to have landscaping done as soon as the painters are gone. She had 4 tiny bushes planted next to her mailbox. I’ve heard of keeping up with the Joneses before, but I’ve never watched it.

I wonder what she’s going to do when I buy a car? Mine has almost 100,000 miles, so it’s time.

*Names have been changed to protect me from the, ahem, “interesting” people.